I Lied

I lied.

I lied so hard.

I'm a liar.

I lied to myself thinking that I could take my own sweet time and immerse myself in the website construction. I was thinking like the woman i was when i planned to start (six years ago 🤦‍♀️) as opposed to the one i am today (the one with the 2 year-old). Sigh.

I don't have the time for that. And at this rate I'd never get to actually write anything so i bit the bullet, supressed the control freak in me and used a template. Jamstack. At least i still had to put in some work. I already know I can build things, I don't need to prove it to myself or anybody else really.

So now I'm just writing. And I really had to get to it because the ADHD would not let me get to my other things until I sorted this thing out. It's like when I was. in cuba, before the dx, I learned that for me to buckle down and study I needed to clean every corner of my little space because once I sat down my mind was just itching for a reason to not get it done. I would suddenly need to defrost the freezer or something. It may have seemed counterintuitive to the people around me but the time I took to get that done saved me so much more in the long run. I could take in information, but I had to be distraction free. Any who, I'm a mommy and no lie, it's a chunk of work, plus she's getting heavy and I still have to handle her as my baby because, she is my baby.

I still want to do this and as awkward as this pivot was, I'm here for it because now I'm here for this.